How to shred dancer's ego

March 2, 2006

Ivan & Sally Intermediate

crossed hold R-R on top
1,2,3,5,6,7 cross body lead with full counterclockwise traveling turn ending with R-R outstretched to R (something like a semi-Titanic)
1,2,3,5,6,7 lead follower back and then to right as leader gets into open cross body position then lead full counterclockwise turn for follower into Titanic
1,2,3,5,6,7 prepare and lead follower into stationary double clockwise turn with R-R high (switch to L-R either after the first turn or after the second turn)
1,2,3,5,6,7 basic
1,2,3,5,6,7 into cross body lead with R-L over follower’s head (keep all connections high) – L-R down on 5 and lead follower into stationary/backwards full clockwise turn back into cross body position
1,2,3,5,6,7 cross body start and lead follower into traveling 1 1/2 clockwise (?) turn to get back into open hold
1,2,3,5,6,7 cross body lead with traveling 1/2 clockwise turn for follower all connections intact with leader turning full clockwise (L-R briefly disconnected and reconnected under R-L as R-L itself is disconnected – after leader’s turn, L-R ends behind leader’s back R waist)
1,2,3,5,6,7 open break and exchange places (it might be somewhat like Enchufe) and leader turns full clockwise – briefly let go L-R but reconnect it so that L-R ends behind leader’s back R waist again
1,2,3,5,6,7 exchange places again (forward step recommended for leader on 1) and bring follower around (needs to keep tension on 4 onwards – follower’s motion is something like end of cross body lead but going backwards in time)
1,2,3,5,6,7 cross body lead and 1 1/2 clockwise traveling turn for follower (body swerve for follower)
1,2,3,5,6,7 open break, close in and rotate as a unit (1/2 turn to full turn clockwise)
1,2,3,5,6,7 standard cross body lead

I guess I must have been pretty low in energy tonight. It was a schizophrenic type of night – I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to be there tonight. I might have spent close to an hour and possibly more just sitting around after the class. Heck, this might have lasted for close to two hours had Sally not recruited me for her beyond beginner class. In the end, I danced with three people altogether, and I felt like I had to really make an effort to do this. To get myself to ask for my first dance, I told myself that I would try to dance on-2. Unfortunately, my attempt at dancing on-2 was no more successful than my first attempt back at Blackpool prior to taking any on-2 lessons. This is not to say that my attempt at dancing on-1 was flawless – there were times I was unsure about my timing and wasn’t able to use the music to confirm that I was on time or to correct myself.

I might be about 95% back physically – maybe 90%. Actually, it’s more of a mental problem, no?

It doesn’t take much to take mojo out of a dancer. All you need to do is to wear down his/her confidence – this is really easy because imaginary problems about dancing are often just as difficult to solve as real problems. Just tell the person that he or she is not good, and his/her confidence will be bruised. This might sound too simple and crude, but it doesn’t take much to sow seeds of doubt and ego is a very delicate thing. Repeat often for best effects. Similar effects can be achieved by doing the same but more implicitly – one very simple method would be to merely refusing a dance with the person. It really works even for a grizzled battle-tested leader who has received thousand no’s to a dance and is well aware that people say no for million different reasons. A more subtle and devious approach could involve willfully leading moves slightly beyond your dance partner’s ability and mangling the move deliberately and blaming your partner for the failed move. Conversely, a follower could reciprocate by pretending that the leader’s technique was missing something. I would never consider doing this and I wonder if anyone’s capable of such deeds, but who knows? Act unimpressed and even downright bored. Better yet, act sympathetic and helpful while being misleading and acting disappointed. This type of devious tricks probably would work especially well if the malicious person is considered to be an “expert.” I of course do not condone this type of activities. Perhaps mentioning these types of scenarios (real or imaginary) will help to immunize.

I am not sure if I can risk another disappointing SOS again. I guess the Rocket is a possibility. Friday at Club Salsa? Maybe…

Disclaimer: The tone of this post might seem unenthusiastic or even negative. If so, I want to say that this does not necessarily reflect upon anything anyone did or did not do at Club Salsa today or anytime in the past - it's all in my head. After all, Salsa is not the only thing that lifts or crashes my mood, which has been relentlessly downbeat for some time. Some parts of the post seem to me very problematic at multiple levels, and it might have been much better to leave them out. I guess editing problematic writing was never my strong suit. If any of this is objectionable, let it reflect badly on me and no one else. I'm already cowering in fear.